Yarrr! The Skull & Crossbones Mop Top Hat from Zooni ($32.50) be the perfect way to keep warm when plunderin’ in foul weather, says we. Ye hat, which be hand-knit from custom cotton or bamboo yarn and lined with fleece or jersey, will make the most mutinous scallywag be adorable and snuggly. Don’t run afoul of a lame hat, matey! Set yer course this way! Avast!!!
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Skull & Crossbones Mop Top Hat
3D Sock Set
FYI, Dad: Mom will know if you steal these from Jr. The 3D Sock Gift Set from Zooni ($23.50) is as cool as those footie jammies you used to have. The set comes with red monkey, grey puppy and blue bear socks, meaning you’ll have three occasions to wow your friends with the cute. And the gift box opens into a circus tent for bonus aaahhhh points. Remember, we said wow them with Jr’s cute. Yours, not so much.
EarthWorm
Okay, we don’t want to encourage TOO much grabbing. But they have to start somewhere, right? Here’s where the EarthWorm Red from ImagiPlay ($12.99) comes in. This sustainably-grown wooden critter is perfect for developing baby’s skills at grabbing. They can twist the beads to change the color of the worm endlessly, thus teaching them how to grab. Teaching them that grabbing is not always appropriate? Well, that’s your job.
Sourpuss Black Anchor Baby Shoes
You are not hip. But you want your kids to do better than you, right? Start with Sourpuss Black Anchor Baby Shoes from Urban Baby Runway. ($21.99) These boss kicks are utterly bad ass! They’re black canvas with butter-soft soles for growing feet. Add in the red anchor design, and we’re talking bar brawl! Or at least oohs and aahs from other parents marveling at the hipness of your wee one. And that’s what you want for them, right?
Gummy Stick Teething Stick
Teething sucks. Make it better with Gummy Stick Teething Stick Gum Massager. ($10) This two-pack of teething sticks features ergonomic handles for easy grip, and gentle nubs to massage sore gums. The handle feels like a toothbrush (early practice!), and the anti-choke feature prevents over-insertion and all the joys that can result. Naturally, the sticks are BPA and Phthalate free, so you can feel good about what you’re shoving down their gob. For them, and for you.
Tumblin’ Tree EcoBalancing Game
We all fall down! Well, hopefully not. The Tumblin’ Tree EcoBalancing Game from ImagiPlay ($19.99) is a totally naturally way to have a great time. Up to six players take turns building this 100% sustainable balsawood tree, but they’d better not make the tree fall! Whoever causes tree collapse has to pick up the pieces. You can adjust the tree to increase difficulty, so the fun will never stop. It’s natural kicks for the whole family with the Tumblin’ Tree.
iPoo’d Unisex Toddler T-Shirt
What can we say? Sometimes the items write the captions. So it is with the iPoo’d Unisex Toddler T-Shirt from Pixie Rock. ($22) Runs from 12-18 Month to 6T, and comes in white with grey logo, adapted juuuust slightly for your little mess maker. (The menu button says “Change Me”) Not much more we can add about this gem… Oh, sorry dad, it doesn’t come in adult sizes.
Alma Crib
Good luck folding your bed and taking it with. The Alma Crib from Bloom Baby (prices vary) is the ultimate in easy-to-store mobile chic. This elegant crib features lockable coasters for easy mobility and secure sleep, two position mattress platform and a compact-fold construction, making travel a breeze. It’s an idiot-proof no-tools setup, in spite of solid wood construction and baby-safe finishes. Looks beautiful, comes with: you should have it so cushy.
Cole’s Tree House
Yeah, seriously. You don’t even need a tree anymore. The Cole’s Tee House from PoshTots ($6,250) is tree and tree house in one. This 6’ junior manse is supported by a real log recycled from local ranches. The 4’ x 5’ house features Douglas fir framing and cedar siding, dormers, windows with flower boxes, swing and even a porch. Ostentatious? Just a bit, but hey, there aren’t many self-contained tree house units out there…
Buzz B Battery Operated Nail Trimmer
Don’t even THINK of using your death-grip nail ripper, pal. Use the Buzz B. Battery Operated Trimmer ($25) instead. This beauty, which runs on one AA battery, has two power settings and four cushioned pads: two for infants, two for toddlers. It utilizes a soft, gentle oscillation, guaranteeing a safe, scream-free trim. And unlike your bargain-basement hacker, the Buzz B. won’t rust or spit out nails you cut last year. Sweet!

